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Heartstrings


              Intricately woven with utmost necessity and choice are our hearts when we are attached to somethings and much more with a someone. The weave can be binding that conscripts the heart when in rage and in jealousy. Choking it as it struggles to beat while the noose shrinks as the owner maliciously in desperation pulls the strings without second thoughts. As a pretentious man, who has built an immovable emotional edifice, who has made reason in dominion over affection, whose laughter at most times is an echo of reason that bullies and whose anger is extremely rationalized as divine justice, I too have those loose bricks that can crumble the wall by a single nudge and since we are talking about strings, a single pull of a significant block that sets the dominos tumbling. Gods bleed, angels cry and men too can be consumed in the flames of passion. My walls can be breached because the foundations are those who I keep dear in my life. I have yet to experience the dread of death, but what I had so far were attempts to cut the strings and those which were conscripted.

              I would have never thought, that jet streams pull harder than a petty fight. Not just jet streams, but a stream with less probability to surf through makes the pull painful. Of course, I need not to be pulled away to be torn asunder, rather I have to firmly plant myself and pull the string too so as not to be disintegrated. I have faith the strings are too strong to be both cut and ripped, it is just that a faint heart needs to toughen up to take the challenge. There you are, a jet stream away. Just after you flew, I kept on looking at the sky and keep on finding to where north is and pretend that I can still see you even you are already way beyond the horizon. I know there is technology, but the sentimental in me has been awaken, and wish to see you with my own eyes in my own natural horizon. The deep slumber induced by the fortitude of reason has been tested by matters of the heart. This I can say, this heart beats for you. It felt pain because I love you and I will continually do so until you loosen the strings when you will be coming home. Rarely does my heart bleed in pain and in only sheds blood to those who mean a lot.

              You have your chance to live a life that you can cherish as you grow old. Let me support you by making your memory of that chapter happy with my continuous hugs and kisses. To be honest, I am jealous because you are seeing new things. I am bitter for not being there to see it together with you. I love you so much! Deep inside, I really do want to travel, I kept telling myself lies that I would not. But yours is work, soon, when you come home, our heartstrings will together ride on the jet streams and both see the world standing on the same ground zero as the epicenter of the horizon. As for now, we struggle to make our hearts stronger by the pull we allowed to happen and let our hearts triumph in this ordeal.

              I love you so much. Waiting for you to come home to where I can hold you and enjoy the acoustics of your voice with your petite stature and that scent we both share smudged in the sheets of our bed.

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