Skip to main content

This One Goes Out to the One's Who Love

                We know that falling and being in love is one of the greatest feelings to someone who have ever existed. All the more especially when we are the object of such devotion. But I think there is a difference from a person who begins to love because he or she is lonely than a person who loves because he or she really do love. For one, to the one who felt loneliness, there is the need to love for a unconscious demand of being loved in return and that is why one tends to love to catch someone’s attention so as to be reciprocated and thus the loneliness be dispelled. But to one who simply loves without conditions brought upon neither by the other nor from one’s own circumstance, then that is truly something sincere.

                As a popular saying goes that you cannot love others without loving yourself first is indeed true. For to those who never found solitude in themselves even in times of being alone, then one is weak in handling one’s self and especially if one seeks companions just for a temporary delusion and dispelling of being alone. If one cannot love one’s self in one’s own loneliness then that definitely poses a problem of merely usurping the object of love as a cure to the drought of loneliness.

                It is hard if one’s cup is empty and one starts to give emptiness, because there is nothing really given. It is hard also if one does not know how to fill one’s own cup if one waits for the other to fill in for them and the abuse of that will lead to usurpation and that is something dangerous. Sometimes we ask ourselves why our relationship failed. Was it because someone was utterly giving it all and the other was simply receiving and upon that other’s frailty the other was pushed to the limit in giving all one could until that someone became drained and stressed? I guarantee you, that even to the self-sufficient ones who have a sincere heart to the frail, when the other simply does not know how to stand on one’s own for long, then eventually the stress comes of having false hopes of being a martyr.

                One could never be a God in love in permanence, but one could be in meantime. But to demand the God out of the other is simply too idealistic and too much of a wish for the other is just as limited as you are. Remember that we still are humans and the one who gambles his heart on you in all out devotion seeks also a kind return to mutually fill what was lost so that both can just mutual reciprocate but if one is merely receiving and spilling out the abundance of the gifts, then eventually the limited source will run dry and it may take awhile to rejuvenate lost spirit.


                One works out to be independent enough and self-sufficient enough to work as a productive and effective partner in times of the other’s crisis and enough strength to temporarily carry at hand the other while yet recovering from lost spirit. But if one is not independent enough, then that poses a problem because the other cannot enjoy the aid of being helped and carried upon when one is at one’s crisis. Therefore, it should be a guarantee that one is an individual enough to carry along the joys and trials of having a relationship, because there is WE and not simply and I in a tandem. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fin?

  Last 2012, there were hearts on fire that both had their first shared flame in an unlikely place. I was thirsty for love coming from being dormant while she was searching for a redemption from a series of broken hearts. Both struggled to find their place. Both trying to live their lives free from the hideous chains of a dark home. I must admit that I fell for her beauty and add to that, her care. As we both clasped our hands, it was a committed long shot to have the perfect rest for our hearts. It was a bit strange to have an affair under the noses of all that is forbidden both profession and a line of faith. Nothing was wrong as long both were in the ecstasy of love – no malice, no foul play, no trespassing of wills. That moment was a perfect episode in a romantic film – one where young love sprang amidst treacherous circumstances. We lived through the happiness of newfound belongingness and the battle of keeping that alive. 4 years before the wedlock were filled with ups an...
Post a Comment
Read more

November in My Heart

I never thought I got to see you up close as you walked out of the airport’s terminal exit. I never thought that I got to hold your hand last Friday, neither could I believe that we hugged and kissed as we went to our friend’s car. Your voice never felt so real, and never felt so up close for a very long time. I could not believe the ride to the hotel, hearing you laugh, lending me your handkerchief as I was still sulking in disbelief. Your hands felt so real while you were pressing them hard as I was still emotional. It felt like bliss when you ate your first chicken joy meal in 7 months while getting shocked seeing the cake with a small bundle of roses. You told me that you felt like a woman, and that statement rang in my head because I successfully made you feel like one. And I took a photo of you with your advanced birthday presents. Just 6 days ago, we made love after a long 7 dry month period. Your hugs and kisses were not any more fantasies, but realities. I could not believe ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Third Wedding Anniversary: A Reflection

It has been three years and I have never regretted nor doubted the fact of my marriage to her. The decision was borne out of choice and borne out of love and if it was not, I could have moved on and changed my direction when our relationship was challenged and cut off during those years. Yet, I chose to stay not because of conscience nor was I forced to but because I truly love her. Stern as I am, I rarely give my heart to people. I can relate and talk with almost anybody, but most of the times they are simply mechanical as if I was condemned to interact given the situation that I am in. However, I am the kind of person who carefully selects who to be intimate with. I can be there for anybody, but I chose not to because I can only be with someone who I know is worth it. My wife is worth it. We had so much conflict before, especially when she was still in the process of overcoming a problematic home environment, role confusion and deep sense of self-pity coming from self-doubt. Ha...
Post a Comment
Read more