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A Random Monologue of my Heart

Today, I have deeply reflected on the so many days I have been spending with my wife, that is, the life of being married and the relationship prior to it. It dawned into me while having an internal monologue of the profundity of the experiences we shared and moreover, the unexplainable miracle of our togetherness. Not that I am open to change the possibilities of the past of a what-if-not-her, but no, I am grossly in love that we came across towards union and that meant everything for a lifetime we only have.

I played in my mind so much how I became so attracted to her when she was yet my student and the thought of it makes me go giddy every time. I kept on thinking that I never thought I would fall madly in love with her. In my world painted black and white through philosophical jargons, she became my color. Never I have felt my heart ache and pound for a woman, I cannot explain further, but my heart just simply beats for her up until this day and for sure, to days after death. In my world looked through the scrutiny of my head, she became that break of calculations, she made me lay idle thinking about her with my heart. There is no other feeling I can say that I truly love her through how my heart pounds of the thought of her, her presence and to where I can say the heart clings and shows its desire and attachment is when I entertain the possibility of her absence. Karl Archuleta for once in his lifetime felt a love that is genuine and that is why he found that treasure to keep until his dying days.

I still reflect and every time I do so, my language is always in poverty of expressing the depths of my heart. All I can say is that I love her so, but the love I speak cannot surpass the language of heartbeats. Maybe, if she could just listen to my heartbeat and how it thumps hard for her, then the intensity of it without words can truly tell how I feel for her. Words can really express the language of feelings and as the saying goes “the heart has reasons that reason itself cannot know” or if I were to have a little rendition, the heart has its language that speech and thinking cannot speak.


It strikes my heart every morning to see her beside me whether at times a sleeping beauty or a drooling one. The way she makes me laugh with our supposed to be private and shameful deeds such as farting and swear, her farting is the cutest thing in the world because she has that face either of denial or that of a guilty one. I have not seen a better world than what I have now best being with her. This is the best of all possible worlds! If given the chance to repeat my life, I would be very excited to see her again in that classroom and marry her all over and over again. She is the decision of my heart that was and never will be an error. In choosing her, I have chosen the best for what is me. I have never felt so in love! I have never felt so sure in my life of a someone who choose to stick with. I am loved! Will it be so corny  to say that I have finally found someone, someone to share my life, to be with every night? The best dreams I had even in sleep are the dreams of us being happy together, that I do not want to wake up. Honestly, with you, I am living the dream. I love her so much! If you are reading this, then I love you so much!

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