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Nightmare: In Fear of Losing Her

I remembered I use to write what I felt for my wife especially when I first knew her as a person that fancied my attention. It was the moment when I felt extreme joy and so too is her name that I cannot help but write my heart in the desire, the passion, and the mixed emotions I was into. The first time I saw her and begin to notice her, she definitely fueled a passion that I had never experienced in my life and that is the longing to be with someone and for that time that thought reached to marriage already. However, early as it was it was good to dream, fantasize an eternity with her. As every typical bachelor goes for the time being I went for my future and that was to pursue her.

The spark during those times was so immense that it drives mind active when thoughts of her and if not, she herself is in front of me having strolls or having a good meal together. I kept telling to myself back then she is the one for me. Her gentleness, kindness and being soft melt me into being that alpha male to take care of her, provide for her and make her feel happy as much as possible. I felt giddy when it was that time in the day wherein we have to steal moment just to have a dinner outside school premises since there was the taboo of a teacher to student relationship. Up until now, I reflect on how of a movie like was our early romance. Challenging norms and hiding till we made it full known that we were in a relationship.

As the years go by, my fond for her, my love for her grew immense that it can be considered a sickness to say that I am obsessed with her. An obsession that I happily allow to happen because I have not thought of anything else what my life would be without her. In fact, I hate it when the thoughts in my head entertain an alternative history wherein we never met. It breaks my heart not to see this fragile but beautiful lady especially on what she has brought to my life so far until now. I am obsessed with that I want to repeat my life if there is any form of reincarnation or an eternal reoccurrence with her and in the right time and in the right sequence. All five years of togetherness counting also the moments that were rough, we so perfect a life and I still await the future of how perfect it will be even more. Dark compliments the light, such as fights are mere spices of life and the essence of it all is to stick together no matter what. I truly love her.

To love is to be attached. I am never a fan of love which is letting go, because we are not in the dubious phase anymore for we have entered marriage to bind ourselves for an eternity. I am attached to my wife as her presence alone makes me light, her smile and her voice I miss everyday. Her warmth when we cuddle makes all sickness go away and I swear every time I hug her my mind vanishes in blissful moment of happiness of acceptance and being with someone to love and to be loved. As we continued our existence as a couple, together, I am more immersed into who she is and that makes me want to be more with her. If I die early, I just pray that I can still eat her cooked food for I personally know no other heaven than a meal prepared by her. All those good morning, off to work and just impulsive kisses makes me a complete man and no other can make me feel such.

I maybe swallowing within my fears and insecurities and writing this one while facing a picture frame given by one of her friends and facing a hard heart to consummate the emotions but no matter what this picture of her smiling while on my back melts my heart often if she’d only knew that I stare often dreaming of her in her absence both in presence and in the communication lines.

There is also a dark side to dreams, dreams that are not just pleasant but the ones that wrinkle your heart to oblivion. Those wherein that you were sweating hard and pumping much blood running, crying, reaching and fighting within a subconscious state. I am a man who has a hard time moving on when nightmares come. Death of my sister, my brother, my father and mother all makes me in a state of dementia when I wake. A dementia that nails my heart often and no matter how my eyes are looking at reality, appreciating what is real, my eyes haunt me with the faces of the nightmare even at times they are obscure. I have not talked to my sister for a time way back before when I first had that dream when nanay woke me for I was crying hard when I was the one who died and I was a ghost simply following her in a lonely war torn lobby of my elementary school. I had problems talking to my younger brother when I was dawned by a murderous scene and I was the witness and he was slowly stabbed to death while the rest of my body I felt I was being pulled to inaction and cannot respond. Maybe indeed, the nightmare I have is not about their death, but me in failing to protect whom I hold so dear and this so follows with my wife, the one that means death if I were to let go of her.

I have grown into fondness with my wife, she has given me joy and my nightmare haunt me and want to tweak this sanity I have. So many times I have dreamt of losing her, to death, in time and worst among all is to another man. I have seen that at the depths of my subconscious that I fear of losing her to another man, to a man who can steal her away. Just recently, the worst of nightmares came and that was to see her in intimacy with another man and this time a much clearer face associated with a name. It was the same as my body was drawn back cannot fight to stop but just to watch it happen while I am being impaled, frozen, helpless and I was shouting in the inside. Their smiles killed me. I cannot reach out but I was able to do was to kick the base of the bridge as hard as I can to close the scene in front me. I cannot understand the intensity of the feeling I had not only that when kicking the bridge was hurting enough, then I began to be awake noticing I am kicking the floor. The fury in my heart was immense, I was drowning I could not breathe. And it was wrong for me to yearn for my beautiful wife there at my side when she was all tired from work as it is very wrong to interrupt a body recuperating from stress.

That face haunts me, all of the sudden, that face haunted me. The face that stole her haunted me. As my heart wrench in deep isolation in the night my fear, the greatest nightmare so far being with her and is associated to her is still locked in reality as I carry it in my head and my heart. Strangely dementia. I kept wrinkling my head that I have to erase it. I hate these nightmares. Although they remind me of how I truly love those people who I cared for, but please, forgo the torture! I cannot withstand even to be a free floating spirit watching my wife have an affair. Even if jealousy is an issue supposed to be long gone, but no matter what, we always have it as it defines how attached we are to a person. Not that we perpetrate it to happen, but if it crosses our minds it one fire hard to put out. My demons are inside my head and hard to fight, hard to erase. And if they deal with the people I love the most, it attacks the obsession I have, an affinity with those I care.


Under no circumstances do I want to lose my wife. I cannot think of another world without her. Indeed I say, that with her is being the best of all possible worlds. I cannot imagine not hearing “babe” from her voice in my life. All the most, I cannot imagine that the smile meant for me goes to another one. Her smile caught me, her smile is mine and it pains me to see it given to someone else to substitute me. She is my only woman, the only wife that I am to be with even until the end of my days. Nightmares are troublesome with a mind such as mine. I need her more. I need her always. A little bit off jealousy can add spice to what I feel for her, but do not worry this is not jealous rage. I just want her hugs and kisses, the scent of her hair, the warmth of her cuddle and her delicious food. She completes me. In the fear of losing her made me feel that I truly love her and in this schizophrenic-dementia-jealousy I am in at, made me want to hold her. But the face that stole her is still strong in presence. I love her. Do not take her away from me. I cannot erase the times we have spent for that memory is precious to me. 

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