I Miss You (Erotica)

              I wake up every morning and pretend that you are just beside me. In my dreams, I hugged you, but as I opened my eyes, it was just a pillow. Never mind the morning breath, although it is warm, as long as it yours, then I am happy with it. Sad to say, the only warm thing that greets me in the morn is just the sun. It would have been better if it was your thighs pressing my hips. I would feel an itch on my face and it could have been better if it was from your messed up hair. I would have loved the smell of fabric conditioner on our pillowcases, but it was better with your dried drool. The same thing I would say of the sheets, and you know what scent is stuck there. I may have your clothes and the very articles that make me tingle, but it would be better if those had your scent. I would never mind having those washed for a far long time. It is boring at times that I am just washing my own clothes, and I do not want to be stupid to wash your clean stock.

              I did not bother to buy gas because it would be impractical to cook when I know it is cheaper to buy from outside, especially I am living alone. The stove is a little bit dusty because you are the only one that can turn it into life. For now, it sits idly waiting for you. My tongue hungers for your cooking, and you already know what else. The room does not have that aroma of spices for the moment. Moreso, I do not have a commander who tells me to chop these and slice those.

              The pillow and the mattress may be soft, but not alive. I may cross my thighs with a pillow, but your warm body is better. Let alone, I cannot do those lingering motions because what is there in a pillow by the way? When it is warm, there is no point going naked while asleep. If it is too cold, there is no point in staying naked as well. What is the point also of your upper article when it does not fly to my face after a long day’s wearing? You know how to invite me. My knees hurt because of playing football again, even though I am no religious man who kneels, I only press my knees down in between your thighs. I do not want to be a murderer keeping a kill silent, but the victim herself withdrew from the noisy screams of every stab. I surely did invite the gymnast in you. Not only a gymnast but a belly dancer once in the right sitting position.

              I need a playmate. Someone to tease, but I only do the romantic ones with you. The way I do such with my siblings is different. But yours is more exciting because your laugh is music to my ears as I tickle you. You punch me. You kick me and sometimes threaten me with mood swings. I do not care, as long as you are here beside me. I can go on with these childish moments in my life with you, and doing it on camera does not have that touch. No one would tell me to use tweezers to remove an annoying strand of hair or two, or I cannot tell someone to step on my back when I need it the most. I know you always need my healing pretentious massage touch as well.

              The bathroom is too big. All I see are the tiles, the unfinished roof, and unfurnished walls. The structure was never this clear to me before because I was busy looking at a work of art wherein I can even touch. I am laughing now that we do little experiments there as well. Now, it is only me who walks around with a towel wrapped around my newly bathed body. Since we only have one towel each, I know you wrap it on your head, and I do enjoy the view all the time.

              I play video games without that pesky but romantic gesture of being disturbed. Sometimes the distraction is very tempting because you know where to sit. I openly invite you to be player two, and you can use my joystick. And when you start to embrace me pressing your body with mine, I know you want to be pressed also. But I really do cherish the hugs that warms me in the day. Yet night embraces have their enticing mood.

              I am sorry for writing this. I am just like any man who misses his wife so much. Please do not mistake me for a maniac and that my brain is in my balls, but you do know I keep the other side of the brain for you. Inasmuch I miss your human presence, but I too am a beast, who is loyal to seek pleasure from only you.