Wasted 5 Years

              I have always been looking into the students that I once encountered in a semester or two in college and it disheartens me a lot to see them turn out to be still the creatures that I detest. So stupid to have a group page entitled the school’s secret files and so often I do really doubt if the ones actually posting there are in fact true or just a manufactured post in order to create a general sentiment. Either way, all I can account for is how my previous students replied to any of the posts. Moreover, it is not only about the petty wars that happen online, but also of the progress of the student communal life in general. Although I may have called my 5 years as fulfilling for my part as I have developed and mastered to some level the art of teaching, the fact still haunts me that there is no actual progress that happened in the school apart from anything that comes from the administration’s initiatives.

              I have been vocal of the issue regarding the student council and its peculiar irregularities and how much of a sham it is being an organization inside the school as compared to other councils in other well-known schools. I criticized and elucidated the necessary points coming from experience of how rigid and well defined the structures are in other schools even though that there are lapses, but those are not ridiculous enough to say that there is a strong sense of inefficiency in the said schools. Be it that other universities too, have their shortcomings in the management of the student community however, what I saw and personally immersed in the environment I worked before was a mixture of comedy and raised concerns. If we take the model of the publicity of the country’s electoral process regardless of how much of a shit and rigged the elections are, the school’s electoral system is even more secretive than the conclave of clergymen voting for a new pope. Nobody knows when is the election going to happen and moreso, when the system can invite willing and capable visionaries into the game of student politics. Consider the opposition that Marcos created just to make the election appear democratic, there too is very silent, late and ineffective that before anybody can bat an eyelash, there are already candidates from who knows where and just after their blissful publicity is the election. No campaign, no platform, just a blind guessing game of whose name sounded better with so many titles placed to ascertain a kind of capability and command in authority. It was also more funny to note that not even all the students know that there is already an election going on and talk about exercising the right to vote coming from a zero careful deliberation whatsoever on why they are to pick such candidate. Talk about dynasty of friendship that continued to perpetuate as many students already graduated and yet they were rooted with a ponderable motive of service coming from the access to a huge cache of funds which they will not spend officially and just use the donations of the gullible and half-witted organizations who can be easily swayed by a solicitation without double thinking that actual funds were already present. The light has been clear as day and the echoes of complaints already banged against the walls yet echoes are what remained until they all pass over to silence. The school became the laboratory of corruption and not only do we blame the corrupt for being such, but the people as well who claimed to be college in level are politically and socially aloof in terms of social organizations. No wonder they graduate and go outside, dumbfounded towards pressing issues and just continue to live in a privileged life and all the more mindless. I banged the wall a couple of times, but it seems no brave heart could stand up. They are just the typical people who will say yes to the truth but are bereft of courage to turn truth to praxis. Impaled by confusion, double mindedness and stupidity. As much as my classes talked about the dynamics of society and rigid critical thinking, I have to conclude that those amazements they radiate in class are but hallow and empty praises maybe just to please the tone I gave in the room in order to pass or mere appraising exquisite thoughts while comfortably seated on an armchair. 5 years was a waste talking to an apathetic and apolitical mob.

              That shit ass page that allows a certain kind of free voice in the web so too is a menace as it created disunity. An illumination of names became apparent who were inside my classroom before but in terms of replies are far less subhuman than our current president. They have the tendency to brag about their seniority and have no talent to try and redirect complaints posted online and I beg to ask, why is there a tendency to hate the freshmen? Less do these seniors know that these newbies are paying higher tuition fees than them because they belong to the new fees tranche which honestly speaking are spiking up quick. Since they are paying higher so too the demand to see what they paid must come to realization. These half-witted seniors brag about they were not like that before because they were cherishing a fee lower than 30k in their early years while these new generation students who are already fed up with the troublesome and highly inefficient K12 hoped to see a better school who claims to be in advertisements a mansion over the hilltop. I was even shocked to know that the fees are already skyrocketing. Non-reflecting and imbecile seniors who do not think of the origin of these students who are not even privileged enough, perpetuate in the comment section and it breaks my heart to see the names of those who were under my class. Much of the classes I had were useless, just for grades. Changing mindsets I can say cannot be done in a classroom. I will conclude that what they found most appealing in my class is just the novelty of how I am different from others, not on the lessons themselves. Legitimate concerns such as tuition fees and where the budget goes is really an urgent concern especially when the money that is used to send pupils to school did not just grow on trees. I still see their names and how pathetic they are. I would be even shocked that they reached this far reading this. I can agree with trivial concerns being trivial and irrelevant but when it comes to those demanding of the right service of what was told to them by the staff in charge of creating a catchy edifice, then there is a need to give them the right answer because they have already a preset expectation coming from those who colorfully manufacture packages with hallow content.

              Even though my job was to teach but helping build a community is what I too yearn to give as contribution because words paired with praxis is a philosophy put to life. However, the world is too stiff to change and I either contracted cramps swimming against the tide or drowned by the ravaging current as I allowed myself to be carried along. 5 years again was a waste for no fruit was born, all seeds died. Still, a broken system and a broken populace with absent will to develop a community into a decent, critical, democratic and authentic one. 5 years is a waste. I conclude that what I was doing was a failure. What I did was a failure. The tragedy of the allegory of the cave.