Today, I have
deeply reflected on the so many days I have been spending with my wife, that is,
the life of being married and the relationship prior to it. It dawned into me
while having an internal monologue of the profundity of the experiences we
shared and moreover, the unexplainable miracle of our togetherness. Not that I
am open to change the possibilities of the past of a what-if-not-her, but no, I
am grossly in love that we came across towards union and that meant everything
for a lifetime we only have.
I played in my
mind so much how I became so attracted to her when she was yet my student and
the thought of it makes me go giddy every time. I kept on thinking that I never
thought I would fall madly in love with her. In my world painted black and
white through philosophical jargons, she became my color. Never I have felt my
heart ache and pound for a woman, I cannot explain further, but my heart just
simply beats for her up until this day and for sure, to days after death. In my
world looked through the scrutiny of my head, she became that break of
calculations, she made me lay idle thinking about her with my heart. There is
no other feeling I can say that I truly love her through how my heart pounds of
the thought of her, her presence and to where I can say the heart clings and
shows its desire and attachment is when I entertain the possibility of her
absence. Karl Archuleta for once in his lifetime felt a love that is genuine
and that is why he found that treasure to keep until his dying days.
I still reflect
and every time I do so, my language is always in poverty of expressing the
depths of my heart. All I can say is that I love her so, but the love I speak
cannot surpass the language of heartbeats. Maybe, if she could just listen to
my heartbeat and how it thumps hard for her, then the intensity of it without
words can truly tell how I feel for her. Words can really express the language
of feelings and as the saying goes “the heart has reasons that reason itself
cannot know” or if I were to have a little rendition, the heart has its
language that speech and thinking cannot speak.
It strikes my
heart every morning to see her beside me whether at times a sleeping beauty or
a drooling one. The way she makes me laugh with our supposed to be private and
shameful deeds such as farting and swear, her farting is the cutest thing in
the world because she has that face either of denial or that of a guilty one. I
have not seen a better world than what I have now best being with her. This is
the best of all possible worlds! If given the chance to repeat my life, I would
be very excited to see her again in that classroom and marry her all over and
over again. She is the decision of my heart that was and never will be an
error. In choosing her, I have chosen the best for what is me. I have never
felt so in love! I have never felt so sure in my life of a someone who choose
to stick with. I am loved! Will it be so corny
to say that I have finally found someone, someone to share my life, to
be with every night? The best dreams I had even in sleep are the dreams of us
being happy together, that I do not want to wake up. Honestly, with you, I am
living the dream. I love her so much! If you are reading this, then I love you
so much!
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