Unfolding

Disgusted. Lightheaded. At times, in want to vomit. Slept less or overslept, still, the body moves out of routine. No life. No motivation. “Education is a mission.” Tell that to the walking corpse. The flame slowly fading whilst ash piling up from the first kindle. Eyes that see colors and objects only – no meaning, just things. Brain activity as usual. Thoughts fail to astonish anymore. Could be Solomon’s dread? Sisyphus’ labor. Blood and sweat all for a measly play of inertia. I hear sounds, not words. I utter. Just vibrations and associations, nothing awe-inspiring. People are there like the air I breathe – effortlessly there. Cannot feel envy from their smiles ever since I rarely have some as I tell myself: “what’s the point?”. In want to remember the first kindle. In want to burn again for the world. Tired yet living. Dragging one’s matter to meet the clock only to rest for another day of exploitation. Sisyphus willed himself to be. Hesitant to abandon the labor he only knew.